playaroundwithme dots com says:

Today i'm staying home. its was a well-planned day before it arrival. me and sis bibi decided to go on a club for Lady Gaga handbag night week's before today. we bought our outfit to suits the theme of that day, the face makeup we learned hard from youtube, the accessories to wear and even the trip over and back home. but all was ruined by 101 excuses.

I have to admit, I had a boyfriend, I will name him "A", I knew him long ago through an IRC chat. and nothing seems to develop during our chat back then. years later, I decided to land myself in the IRC again and happen to add him again in the MSN. surprisingly he got 3 different MSN account. till then I still wonder why do a human need that many account. so we chatted and exchange phone number. we did plenty of sms and finally a call. "A" insisted to meet out soon as he wants to know more about me and see if we can step ahead into a relationship. plenty of time I rejected him. but till one fine day, I decided to ground myself on the floor and meet him in Bukit Gombak. To be honest, my first expression of him was totally *censor*. I was like, who's that nerd? I giggled for a second before we move on. we chatted while strolling back to his house.

Stumble upon his house, which is on the top level of the building itself, I can feel the wind! Its extremely windy! when i step into his house...I'm taken aback by what he told me..initially he told me he stay alone, so my perception is that, there is no one home. but everything is wrong. nevertheless, I accept his explanation. he stay with his granny, brother and also a room mate together with a sausage dog! he took me to his room and we had a little romance inside. he asked me a question, "Do I look like the guy in the display picture?" - what would you react when you got questioned like this? of course, I told him, you look like. but there's alittle suspicious when he asked me that. I'm quite a paranoid person to be honest especially if that person holds a special meaning to me.

Till today, we had only met up for 2 time. most of the weekday we would be busy with our own commitment like work. today is an exceptional day to meet with him simply because we quarreled.

He is forever complaining the dislike in me. He told me, I'm being too disrespectful by digging out his past relationship, but to me, its a sign of care and concern. why would a person spend his time doing all these? That's because he's sincere in you yet you dont even want to pour out those information to share with me. In the AJ circle, reputation to me is very important, what you did in the past will greatly affect your partner. I'm not ashamed to tell you about my past, but you never asked as you said its not important. you called these disrespect.

I told him to watch his tone while speaking to me over the phone since the first conversation we had. but he would never change. he would always find fault telling me that its because i'm always at fault, making him angry. I remembered during the 2nd week of meeting him, i'm suppose to wait for him at the MRT control station but apparently he was late! therefore I initial to walk over to his house first. He called me and confront me in his worst tone again. Thereafter I met him, and I asked, why are you so angry with me? he told me he was in a bad mood because of some bricking with his friends. so I wondered....are you venting your anger on me? but I never told him that.

This week Thursday we had a "fight" again. he said, i'm not prioritizing him enough. he assume that I would rather spend my time with friends rather then with him. he add on the SMS issues. from the start of my training till the end of it, he send me 5 SMS and i only replied 2 time back. I told him that SMS is really expensive therefore I don't want to waste much of my money on these...and he replied, you would rather spend money on club and makeup rather then sending SMS. the other factor is that, I really want to focus on my job training, but he will never understand. on the next day, all our team mate got retrenched from the job just because of a SMS. good news just never come.

Yesterday on Friday, we fought again. he told me, i'm being rude while talking with him over the phone. Ii admit that I am. i told him i'm in a mood swing and i don't want to continue the conversation. therefore we cut the call. i don't want to vent my anger on him like what he did to me. but soon he twisted and told me that, its not the first time. you do that often while talking to me on the phone. sometime...I really wonder...is he trying to dig out stuff to quarrel with me? or am I being too paranoid?

Until today, we just had a short MSN conversation. if this continue on, nothing will be resolved. I need "A" to tell me what can i do to satisfy him. but i'm sure that he is never admitting all these fault he done.

I told him, I got lots of stuff to share with him, but I find it totally un-useful. i'm sourcing help from my blog instead..worst come to worst, if nothing helps. this relationship could just end within a silent night and i swear, its not what i wanted. all I need was a stepping stone to tell me what to do.

I'm jealous and angry. you did not even wrote about me in your blog entries.
I'm not complaining or whining. its just disheartening to keep it by myself.
I'm confuse while penning down my thought.
I HATE ALL THESE!
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